Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
