Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I just want nice things and good sex
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
