maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
These tits shall not be calmed
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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