a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
