Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I'm determined to sit on that face.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
