She is in my trunk
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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