ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
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