I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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