we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
