you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
