gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Congratulations! We have a period
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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