i just sent this text using only my big toe
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize
