she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
