after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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