Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

I feel like I'm in dance class right now

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(785): View more from Kansas

Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?

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(804): View more from Virginia

I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.

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(240): View more from Maryland

boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill

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(419): View more from Ohio

You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster

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(502): View more from Kentucky

After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.

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(330): View more from Ohio

Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.

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(732): View more from New Jersey

After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment

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(917): View more from New York City

anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof

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