john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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