you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
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