i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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