I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
