Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
zippers are such a cool invention
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
