He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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