I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
