youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
is that a dick in a sweater?
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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