Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
