i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
