if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Shame is for Republicans.
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