Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
