If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
