Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
