Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
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