my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
