is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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