It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
This is the high leading the old right now
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
