yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
