I'm laying in your front yard are you home
never play flip cup with pint glasses
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
