Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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