He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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