Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
