You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
