i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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