Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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