a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Randomize
