Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Randomize
