my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
