Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
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