I hope mine doesn't look like that
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize