i would punch a child for taco bell
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
