Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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