I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
