Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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