I got chris browned last night
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
You are a genius and a whore.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
