Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
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