Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
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