don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
my god I love twenty year old dicks
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
