why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
