your thong is hanging out like whoa
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
