I cannot find my penis.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
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