Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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